Being lonely sucks. Some people remain single for such a long time that they start to think that the universe is out to get them or the terrestrial forces from their village put a target on their forehead. Well, the good news is that you’re not being attacked by the universe or terrestrial forces. The bad news, however, is that you may be the cause for your relationship status.
While the title is inspired by the famous TV show, “13 reasons why”, here are the 13 likely reasons why you are still single:
You fear being vulnerable
People often fear what they don’t know and try to protect themselves from situations where they become dependent on someone else either for their happiness or something else. People fear getting hurt, but the only trick or solution to this is to find the right person to be vulnerable with.
You’re stuck in a “Situation-ship”
Like the modern day relationship tagged “Friends with benefits”(FWB), most people these days like to avoid the responsibilities that comes with being in a relationship so they just prefer to have their sexual needs met without being emotionally attached.
Getting out of this type of relationship gets tough when one party gets emotionally attached. The only way out of this is having a discussion about what you both want and if it doesn’t match your needs, take a further step to end it and move on.
You’re stuck on an ex
Moving on from a loved one can prove tough but, no matter how cliche it may seem, you have to go out and meet new people. Some breakups can leave you confused and have you questioning your awesomeness. But give yourself another chance to love and stop pushing away people who make an attempt.
You believe in “e-romance”
Although it may seem easier and they may meet your attachment needs, online romances aren’t always the real deal and are often not good enough.
You’re looking for “the one”
Most people think there is only one ideal partner meant for them in the entire universe and they limit themselves to finding the perfect one without giving any other person a chance. We suggest that you correct your mindset, choose someone, and then allow them to get closer to you.
You limit yourself with standards
People often focus on certain criteria like “must have a college degree,” “must live within this distance” “must be this age” “must drive this car” “must be 6ft tall” etc, but while its always good to have a standard, learn not to limit yourself to types and get carried away as someone could possess all of your superficial criteria, and still be a wrong for you or not be even remotely attracted to you.
You don’t know what you want
People often like to lament on how they are single and haven’t met anyone, but when asked what exactly they want or need from a partner they go blank. Deciding what you really want in a partner gets you 50% ahead of your search.
If you’re really ready to be serious,you’ll have to be very expressive with your words and stop saying things like “lets see how things go”, “I’m not sure what i want right now”,etc.
You’re impatient and settle too easily
You hear of people starting a new relationship just after breaking up with another person. Although some people use this as a coping mechanism, it mostly never works as they just always try to fill a void. After a break up, allow yourself be sad and cry if you want, express your emotions instead of bottling it up then when you feel you’ve moved on then you can begin a new relationship
You Play Hard to Get
While it may seem like fun to take your time and play the hardball game,there is really no point in making a person to keep trying if you don’t share the same feelings. Once you realize there is no possible chance to have a serious relationship with a person,let this person know so you both can move on to other people.
You Think You Should Wait.
These days you hear guys say they are waiting to have money before they get into a relationship and other excuses from ladies on why they would rather wait.
The truth remains that you can find that special someone and improve while you’re with them.
You Think Good Mates Are Scarce
The fact that you have met some bad eggs doesn’t mean everyone is out to disappoint you.Sitting back and hoping the right one finds you isn’t the way to go as you’ll only be setting yourself up for disappointment so just go out there and date.
You can’t express yourself
Hard to believe as it may seem,maybe due to social awkwardness or other reasons, some people find it hard or don’t know hot to express themselves and lose out experiencing beautiful relationships. Learn to express your feelings even if its reciprocated or not.
You don’t put yourself out there
As the popular internet slang says “shoot your shot”, we now see people taking chances to meet new people they fancy by asking them out on several platforms.
Note that if you wait for fate to drop Mr/Mrs. Right on your laps then you’re up for a disappointment as in this case, you have to take the bull by the horn. Also don’t shy away from social events,who know who you may meet.